Collaborating with the Enemy

How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust

Author: Adam Kahane

In this book the author, Adam Kahane, presents several key concepts to help individuals navigate collaboration with people they may not agree with, like, or trust. Here are some of the main concepts from the book:

  1. Embracing Discomfort: Kahane emphasizes the importance of stepping outside one’s comfort zone when working with people with differing perspectives. Embracing discomfort allows individuals to open up to new ideas and find common ground.

  2. Active Listening: The book stresses the significance of active listening as a crucial skill for effective collaboration. By truly understanding the concerns and motivations of others, individuals can build trust and find areas of agreement.

  3. Common Ground: Kahane explores the idea of identifying common ground, even in the most challenging situations. Finding shared interests or goals can serve as a foundation for collaboration and problem-solving.

  4. Innovation Through Conflict: The book challenges the notion that conflict is always detrimental. Instead, Kahane suggests that constructive conflict can lead to innovation and creative solutions when approached with an open mind.

  5. Adaptive Leadership: Kahane introduces the concept of adaptive leadership, which involves adjusting one’s approach based on the evolving dynamics of a situation. This adaptability is crucial when dealing with complex and changing collaborative environments.

  6. Real-World Examples: Throughout the book, Kahane illustrates his concepts with real-world examples and case studies, making the principles tangible and applicable to various professional and personal contexts.

I don’t see this book as a big discover, although it surprised me by stating that “sometimes you can’t reach agreement”. If sides do now will to cooperate, enforced agreement won’t be respected. The book serves as a valuable guide for those looking to navigate collaboration effectively in diverse and dynamic environments.