Getting to Yes

I’ve often heard about the “Harvard Negotiation” method, but I hadn’t read Getting to Yes until recently. To my surprise, much of the content felt familiar - not because I had read it before, but because I had already been using many of its principles, unknowingly picked up from other sources.

For example, Simon Sinek’s Start with Why isn’t a book about negotiation per se, but it emphasizes a key idea that aligns perfectly with the Harvard method: if you want to influence or persuade effectively, you must first deeply understand the issue - the “why” behind the position.

Another book I read recently, Szef to zawód (translated roughly as Boss is a Profession), reinforces this idea even more explicitly. It advises not to negotiate based on fixed positions or demands. If an employee asks for a raise, you shouldn’t respond with a simple yes or no. Instead, you need to understand their perspective: Why are they asking now? How much do they need? What’s changed? Only when you uncover the underlying motivations and interests can you begin to find creative and satisfying solutions.

One of the most striking examples from Getting to Yes illustrates this beautifully. Two people both want the same orange. The “fair” solution might seem to be cutting it in half. But if you take the time to ask why each person wants it, you may find that one needs only the peel (for baking), and the other wants the pulp (to eat). The best solution becomes obvious - and both parties get 100% of what they truly need.

This is the essence of principled negotiation: don’t bargain over positions. Focus on interests, not demands.

Summarizing the approach, it’s all about:

1. Separate the people from the problem

   Emotions, egos, and misunderstandings can derail a negotiation. Treat the other party as a partner, not an adversary.

2. Focus on interests, not positions

   Positions are what people say they want. Interests are the reasons behind those wants. Dig deeper to uncover the “why.”

3. Invent options for mutual gain

   Don’t settle for either/or thinking. Look for creative ways both sides can benefit.

4. Insist on using objective criteria

   Base agreements on fair standards - market value, expert opinion, legal precedent - rather than pressure or power.

I wouldn’t tell that I learned something absolutely new by reading the book, but I rather structured a technique I already used, and I can name better the stages of negotiation. If you negotiate often, this book is tine and quickly will pay for itself.